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Post by Sketcher2 on Dec 17, 2017 23:36:24 GMT
Hi all,
I've noticed that the tendency for most people I know to be cheap towards their friends at Christmas. There are some genuine generous people but they are far in between.
People either regift things that they don't want or don't get you things that you would appreciate. The thoughtful friends are there but they are the few.
I am glad my family is always so nice to me and love me so much to not be cheap towards me.
There are some people who are having a hard time making ends meet and for those friends, I do not blame them for gifting me used items as long as they are thoughtful about it.
I am not saying that I am the most generous one of them all. But I do not disrespect people that way by giving them bad gifts that I wouldn't want to receive myself.
Of course friendship isn't just measured by the gift we bring to it but it is one way to show that we care. I have different friends for different reasons. Some spend more time with you and some do things with you. That is another way to show that we care.
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Post by walterchang on Dec 18, 2017 6:27:17 GMT
Hi, fleurette
We dont send gifts usually but at some important occasions, for example,wedding days or funeral days or somebody having a new born baby, we send red envelopes. Other times if someone is ill and in hospital, we usually send some gifts or card.
Yes, some will give little and others will give more. It depends on how deep the friendship is.
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Post by Hercules on Dec 18, 2017 9:37:35 GMT
I am going to regift this year like crazy.
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Post by David on Dec 22, 2017 20:40:31 GMT
Hi all, I've noticed that the tendency for most people I know to be cheap towards their friends at Christmas. There are some genuine generous people but they are far in between. People either regift things that they don't want or don't get you things that you would appreciate. The thoughtful friends are there but they are the few. I am glad my family is always so nice to me and love me so much to not be cheap towards me. There are some people who are having a hard time making ends meet and for those friends, I do not blame them for gifting me used items as long as they are thoughtful about it. I am not saying that I am the most generous one of them all. But I do not disrespect people that way by giving them bad gifts that I wouldn't want to receive myself. Of course friendship isn't just measured by the gift we bring to it but it is one way to show that we care. I have different friends for different reasons. Some spend more time with you and some do things with you. That is another way to show that we care. I usually give gift vouchers or money and let the recipient decide... that way I am not purchasing something the don't appreciate . |
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Post by Sketcher2 on Dec 24, 2017 4:58:10 GMT
I have had a friend gift me a set of audio book CD's of classic books. The other two friends gave me fleur de lis items. That was very thoughtful of them. I don't mind the value of the gift as long as it is something they think I will appreciate. From my cousin she gifted me a perfume which I will give back to her for the smell isn't that favourable. Another aunt gave me a gift basket that I will return to her too because I won't use it. I will have one gift to open on Christmas Day.
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Post by Hercules on Dec 24, 2017 8:27:41 GMT
I have had a friend gift me a set of audio book CD's of classic books. The other two friends gave me fleur de lis items. That was very thoughtful of them. I don't mind the value of the gift as long as it is something they think I will appreciate. From my cousin she gifted me a perfume which I will give back to her for the smell isn't that favourable. Another aunt gave me a gift basket that I will return to her too because I won't use it. I will have one gift to open on Christmas Day. Hmmm.....I never give back gifts. Maybe you might want to think that through a bit more. Might hurt the other person's feelings. |
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Post by David on Dec 24, 2017 19:03:13 GMT
Hi Fluerette
I agree with what Hercules has indicated above.
if I receive a gift I don't particularly want
I pass it on to someone who will appreciate same.
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Post by Sketcher2 on Dec 24, 2017 23:20:09 GMT
I am not trying to hurt their feelings but I will hold on to one of the gifts and give it to someone else. One has gone back to the gifter already. I just figure the faster I give it back to them they could give it to someone else that would appreciate it. But I understand what you guys are getting at. Next year I will keep all my gifts and not return them to the gifter.
I got my friend a gift bag of 40 dollars of Body Shop stuff. Then another friend I got her two dresses that fit her perfectly. She tried them on at our home. Another friend I got her a warm set of p.j.'s. To a little girl I gave her two tops and a colouring set of pencils. Another friend I got her a gift basket from the Body Shop.
Thanks guys for looking out for me and commenting on my thoughtless reaction to the gifts that I got. I appreciate it.
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Post by diesel on Dec 25, 2017 17:33:55 GMT
Gifts! Bah Humbug! No gifts next year. We are donating instead to the humane society and that includes friends who instead go giving gifts donate in our name. Great cause. No guilty feelings, you donate within your budget. No fuss, no mess. Done!
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Post by David on Dec 25, 2017 18:19:03 GMT
I very much go along with what you say here Dee!
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Post by sue13 on Dec 27, 2017 5:16:35 GMT
I am not in a position to spend lavishly and still eat so like David I do gift vouchers so each person has the same amount spent on them in a store I know they like but it is up to them to decide. If I give them cash it will go to food or fuel...so vouchers are the way to go.
Our customs must be very different here if you recieve something you really dont like it is straight to the charity shop, if you give it back to the person the friendship will end.
My children give me vouchers too...works well but I still do the big Christmas day lunch.
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Post by Sketcher2 on Dec 27, 2017 23:55:36 GMT
My friend gave me back a tea pot I got for her housewarming gift. We are still friends to this day. She explained that she already has a tea pot and I didn't take offense at it.
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Post by Hercules on Dec 28, 2017 7:27:49 GMT
My friend gave me back a tea pot I got for her housewarming gift. We are still friends to this day. She explained that she already has a tea pot and I didn't take offense at it. It might be something that varies by culture Fleurette as I note we are an international group. Sue and I are from New Zealand and Australia and have similar values on this issue, while I could see a different country regarding it differently. No one is wrong or right with their answer, we just find the actions described, such as your tea pot example above, as something that wouldn't be done in our social milieu. Let's move on to a new topic as I don't want you to feel bad when obviously this isn't a concern for you and your friends. |
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Post by David on Dec 30, 2017 16:47:32 GMT
I very go along with what you share here Hercules
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Post by sue13 on Jan 4, 2018 18:35:13 GMT
No offense meant and it is our custom,s although we all speak English I am sure we have many differences...it is a learning curve for me and i think the honesty in your friends situation is brilliant, us Aussies just do things differently and as I support my animal welfare shop it goes to good use.I will tell you my son in law bought me a butterfly clock for my main lounge room....would I have picked it...probably not, but he was so thrilled with his find the jolly thing will probably outlast me and has pride of place in my lounge room.My first real gift from the man who is now my son in law...lol...you have to smile.
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